I’ve gone back and forth debating on writing this post for a while now. I feel like I’ve said this in so many of my posts but I have a really difficult time with being judged by others or worrying about people talking about me. I find it really hard to put myself out there with more personal decisions and doing what I think is best for me. The reason I decided to talk about this is because maybe theres someone out there struggling with the same things and maybe it’ll help them out.
So basically, I dropped out of college. There were many many factors that went into my decision to do this but the main one was that I wasn’t happy. If you read any of my past posts about college or you know me, you might already know some of this. For those of you who are new here, I struggled a lot in high school. I struggled socially and with my education as well. I had zero desire to go to school ever which ended up leading me to graduating the summer after I was supposed to. After that I decided I needed a year off to kinda figure out my life and what I wanted to do. After a year of doing nothing but working, I thought I knew what I wanted to do. I decided to go to community college and take classes to make sure that was my definite interest. I loved my classes and professors there but I thought if I really wanted to go into business marketing I should go to a different school. Thats when I transferred to the University at Buffalo and started marketing. After 2 and a half years at UB I changed my major 3 times and was not happy at all. I didn’t enjoy going to the majority of my classes, I struggled with staying motivated and ultimately was not sure I would ever find something I wanted to do.
I thought LONG and HARD about what I would really enjoy doing. I looked back at what kind of interests I had in high school before my life kinda flipped upside-down. The first thing that came to mind was skin, makeup and hair. When I was in high school, I wanted to do cosmetology school but I didn’t solely because I didn’t have the motivation or care for what type of future job I would have. I also applied to esthetics school before applying to community college but then got too scared and did college. So I started looking into esthetics and cosmetology again and it started to get me really excited. Since my sister is a hair dresser, I got to see first hand the impact you can have on someone and the connection you make with your clients. I’ve always been intrigued by what she does and the relationship she has with her clients and I think seeing her do what she does is what pushed me into taking the leap into doing something new. Dropping out of college was one of the scariest things I’ve done and I went back and forth on it for MONTHS. I’m slowly realizing I need to do things that will make ME happy and not others. I’m excited and terrified to start a new chapter in my life. Not only will I be starting a new school and career path but I will also be starting a new job! I have been given the opportunity to work with my sister at Chez Ann and I am so excited. This year I really want to figure out myself and whats best for me. I think this is the first step in the right direction to becoming the person I want to be. I once talked to an advisor who asked me some pretty deep questions that, at the time, I had no answer to. One of the questions he asked was about how I want to be remembered as a person in relation to what I did and also how I would impact the world. I talked to him almost a year ago and I still think about this often. I definitely think its something that you spend your whole life figuring out. With that being said, I know I want to make a positive impact on as many people as I can throughout my life.
If you’re ever struggling with what you want to do in life, remember these things take time. I think it’s really important to dissect yourself and figure out who you want to be and what you’ll do to impact the world and the people around you. If you have any questions or you just want to chat about anything, message me on Instagram!